Boredom has a tendency to squelch creativity, leaving you stuck in a rut and staring into space.
If you need a little help in jumpstarting a dull day at home, weve got a list for you to try of things to do when youre bored out of your gourd.
1) Run from zombies
Alternately looking at the four walls of your house can get pretty tiring. Take a walk outside and get some fresh air. If youd like to do more, go for a short (or long) hike and enjoy nature. If you want added excitement, give the app Zombies, Run!a whirl.It transforms your walk, jog, or run into a mission to save the humanity from a zombie apocalypse.
If you dont feel like listening to a trainer, then opt for something simple and accomplish 100 jumping jacks. If youre feeling energetic, follow it up with a full-on calisthenics workout.
3) Clean the house
If youve got carpet, do some vacuuming, and if its hardwood, sweep the floor and maybe polish it as well. Make an effort today and ensure that all beds in the house are made up. Do the dishes (or run the dishwasher). Do and fold the laundry. Mow the lawn, and if theres a layer of snow, shovel it.
Make sure you list all your chores using the best to-do list apps on Android(some of them are also available for iOS). Ticking every accomplished task off your queue will give you the satisfaction as well as the drive to do more.
You can check YouTube for arrangement how-to videos or Pinterest for design inspiration.
5) Give your closet a makeover
Sort through your wardrobe and get rid of clothes you havent worn in over six months. Organize more efficiently by downloading a wardrobe app like Stylebook.
Additionally, pick items you think you can sell and donate the rest to charity. This activity will help you feel good inside as well as create space in your cabinet for new apparel.
6) Eat, drink, and be merry
Prepare a meal and try a new recipe or reinvent one you already know by heart. If you prefer to use food items you already have on hand, Supercook is a cool website that generates recipes according to what’s already available so you don’t have to go on a supermarket run.
Better yet, order food to be delivered to your house. Feel free to splurge!
7) Do some gardening
Get down on your knees and feel the earth with your hands. Pull out the weeds and plant some pretty flowers.
If its too wintery/cold/dreary where you are, do either of the following: Shovel the snow or lay in it and make snow angels.
8) Finish a puzzle
9) Reconnect with your inner bookworm
Read that novel youve always been meaning to read. Plus points if its more than 500 pages or is part of a book series.
If you prefer to read something completely new, check out Goodreads for some recommendations.
10) Get to know the country you live in
Try to recreate the U.S. map by drawing it on paper and labeling the states. If you dont know where the places are located, today seems like a good day like any to find that out.
And of course, as always,there’s an app for that.
11) Watch something educational
Netflix has a slew of programs you can choose from like Bill Nye the Science Guy or Iron Chef America. (Youd be surprised to know how much you can learn from cooking competition shows.)
12) Read the news
Plus points if you read an actual newspaper, but if you dont have one handy, browsing the Web will do.
13) Explore Wikipedia
14) Shop online for bargains
Amazon and eBay are both quick and easy stops to make for nothing specific, but feel free to check out specialty stores as well for daily deals and special discounts.
Check out your favorite brand of clothing, shoes, makeup, gadgets, and whatever else you can think of. You can pretty much buy anything online these days even fancy cheese!
15) Make a listany list
Jot down the things you need to buy at the supermarket. Take note of the tasks you need to accomplish each day this week. If you feel like it, stretch out your to-dos to cover every month of this year. Again, there are apps for that.
19) Improve your Instagram game
20) Take up the art of paper folding
23) Take a nap
Sometimes, the best solution is the simplest one.
24) Create a vision board for the year
Unleash your creativity and create a scrapbook of goals that you can hang on your wall. Use all sorts of coloring materials and old magazines for picture cut-outs.
Don’t forget to share it on social media. 25) Write, write, write
Don’t forget to share it on social media.
25) Write, write, write
Start with something easy, like a poem. If youre musically inclined, try composing a song and singing it out loud. If youve got the gift of the quill, create a short story or a play. (The last one is especially recommended if youve got people around you to act out the roles.)
26) Go on a chick flick binge
See how many it takes to make you cry. Check out our rom-com roundup from last year.
27) Listen to music
Create a music playlist or two. Pick multiple themes and have at least 30 songs per mix. Then have a dance party and play your lists on full volume.
29) Write handwritten letters to your friends
Practice calligraphy or writing in cursive while youre at it.
30) Embrace your body
Hang out naked in your home for an hour or two. See what it feels like. (You probably shouldn’t take selfies during this time.)
31) Pick a TV show to binge
32) Reconnect with an old acquaintance
Pick a Facebook friend you havent spoken to in months and initiate a catch-up chat. If youre not feeling particularly chatty, cull your Facebook friends list instead and unfriend contacts who havent spoken to you in years. (They probably wont notice and besides, itll help make your newsfeed run better.)
33) Clean up your Facebook account
While youre cleansing your friends list, go through your old photos and status updates and delete anything incriminating or anything that makes you cringe so it doesnt show up under the On This Day feature.
34) Look up your family tree
Finding out about scandalous family members from earlier centuries and your ancestry could be fun.
35) Bake a bunch of desserts
Then feel absolutely zero guilt over eating all of it by yourself.
For a quick and easy source for instant treats, head to YouTube or follow Tip Hero on Facebook.
36) Watch funny videos on YouTube
For a quick and easy source for instant treats, head to YouTube or follow Tip Hero on Facebook.
YouTube is a rabbit hole, so expect to blow hours browsing through tons of hilarious clips.
37) Write yourself an email to receive in the future
38) Sit on your porch with a hot beverage and watch the sunset
Take a moment to meditate and feel the peace and gratitude wash over you.
39) Invite people over for a hang-out at your house
Nothing beats boredom than having other people to experience it with. Make it an impromptu party and call for a potluck.
Illustration via Max Fleishman
Astronaut Scott Kelly landed safely in Kazakhstan early Wednesday, culminating an unprecedented yearlong mission in space.
The Soyuz capsule carrying Kelly and his roommate for the past 340 days, Russian cosmonaut Mikhail Kornienko, landed in the central Asian nation at around 10:25 a.m. local time (11:25 p.m. Tuesday EST). They were met by freezing temperatures, just like when they launched on March 27 of last year.
Kelly pumped his fist as he emerged from the capsule, then gave a thumbs up. He smiled and chatted with his doctors and others, as photographers crushed around him in the freezing cold.
“The air feels great out here,” NASA spokesman at the scene, Rob Navias, quoted Kelly as saying. “I have no idea why you guys are all bundled up.”
Clearly animated and looking well, Kelly said he didn’t feel much different than he did after his five-month station mission five years ago.
NASA (@NASA) March 2, 2016
Following touchdown, the two yearlong spacemen were scheduled to undergo a series of medical tests. NASA wants to know the effects of a year in zero gravity on the body before committing to manned missions to Mars.
Kelly will then head to Houston with two flight surgeons and several other NASA reps, where he’ll be reunited with his two daughters, ages 21 and 12; his girlfriend, a NASA public affairs representative at Johnson Space Center; and his brother and his wife, former Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.
Gabrielle Giffords (@GabbyGiffords) March 2, 2016
Kelly spent 125 more days in space than the closest U.S. contender. In all, he and Kornienko traveled 144 million miles through space, circled the world 5,440 times and experienced 10,880 orbital sunrises and sunsets.
“A really smart person said to me one time, ‘Teamwork makes the dreamwork in spaceflight,’ and spaceflight is the biggest team sport there is,” Kelly said Monday as he relinquished command of the space station. He acknowledged each of the 13 U.S., Russian, European and Japanese space fliers with whom he and Kornienko lived during the past year. “It’s incredibly important that we all work together to make what is seemingly impossible, possible.”
For NASA, that mission possible is Mars.
Scientists are hoping for more one-year subjects as NASA gears up for human expeditions to Mars in the 2030s. Radiation will be a top challenge, along with the body and mind’s durability on what will be a 2½-year journey round trip.
The choice of the pioneering Kelly turned out to be a bonanza. His identical twin, retired astronaut Mark Kelly, offered himself up as a medical guinea pig so researchers could study the differences between the genetic doubles, one in space and the other on the ground. They provided blood, saliva and urine samples, underwent ultrasounds and bone scans, got flu shots and more, all in the name of science.
Kelly has spent more time in space, altogether, than any other American: 520 days over the course of four missions. Realizing this is likely his last journey, it was “a little bittersweet” saying goodbye to his orbiting home. He’ll have plenty of pictures, at least, for the scrapbook he posted 1,000 dramatic, color-drenched pictures of Earth on his Twitter and Instagram accounts.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
(CNN)Every year in mid-spring, there comes a morning when you wake up in a cold sweat with one thought on your mind.
Welcome back, assholes, to another week of my suffering. Watching this show honestly takes brain cells out of my highly functioning mind and just fucking MURDERS THEM. Slaughters them. Its unreal.
I digress. So we come back to Hanna, doing what she does best- excessively eating. Seriously, shes eating leftover wedding cake like a fucking heathen. Meanwhile, Aria is judging the shit out of Hanna while looking like a country western star in a fucking brown vest. John Wayne called, and wants you to get your grimy hands off his fucking outerwear, k thanks.
Emily thinks Ali is desperate for love which is why she married snaggletooth. Much like Dawn Schweitzer being a fat virgin- its half-true.
Hanna is like Yo we cant go to the cops and its like blah blah. We know, its season 6. We get it. Cops bad, lying girls good.
Emily is like MELISSA DID IT and its like, okay Emily with the blame game. Unless you have a fucking law degree, which you obvi dont because you cant even finish undergrad, then I dont want to fucking hear it.
They are going through pictures on Arias camera of the wedding and see that A took pictures, and theyre like, hmmm how did this happen? Seriously, how did this fucking happen? There were literally only 15 people at that fucking wedding. And let me tell you, that wedding looked like horse shit. I said ‘no salmon’ 4 times!”
Also, Aria did you just leave your camera out all night? Like among the 15 people there, how did you not notice someone pick up your very expensive item?
The picture says Bring me the killer by election night, or you lose. All of this is happening on Super Tuesday, coincidence? Honestly, probably. You know half the idiots who willingly watch this show arent registered to vote.
Spencer is talking to her dad and hes like okkkkkk time to dump Caleb. Also, hey Spencers dad, good to see you for the first time all season. Glad to see that youre still a massive cock sucker. Spencer then flashbacks to her and Toby j chillin in a shitty dorm room. Ew dorms are so povo.
Mr. Hastings: WHY DONT WE ALL JUST DUMP CALEB?!
Hannas mom is trying to get her to throw a party, because shes a cool mom, not a regular mom. Ali cant go because shes too busy boning a dude with 7 too many teeth, per usual. Her mom suggests inviting Mona, who isnt sketchy at all.
Aria goes to visit Ezra and they talk about Liam- who, Im just now noticing, looks a lot like Ezra. Basic white dudes are Freeforms specialty. #PLLsoWhite
Ezra: Liam seems bright
Aria: He is bright
Ezra: Say crack again
Ezra called Arias boss and somehow makes it that Aria is the co-writer of his book, and is not fired. Hes like do you wanna be my co-author? and shes like, uh do I really have a fucking choice?
Emily is talking to Hanna and she hears a sound- WOW, A SOUND! HOW AMAZING! GOOD JOB FREEFORM. Its obviously the car that tried to run her ass over last week. It doesnt take a genius to figure that out. (Spoiler: Emily doesnt figure that out because shes a college dropout/virgin who cant drive).
Caleb is at the Radley, trying to get a room when Hannas mom comes in. Of course Hannas mom offers Caleb the guest room because shes a fucking cougar.
Back to Emily, who is with Ezra at his coffeehouse/house of statutory rape. She hears that noise again and he explains that its whistle tips aka something that makes your car really fucking annoying.
Spencer is in a fucking plaid pantsuit- WHAT THE FUCK SHIT IS THIS- and Toby shows up very angry looking to murder Caleb. She has some Miley Cyrus buns on the back of her head as well. Ugh what is this whole look rn? I cant deal.
Toby goes off about how much he hates Caleb. And Caleb is like yup, it was meeee. Spencer begs Caleb to tell him that A is still around and Caleb is like NAH, BETTA NOT. Tobys chode penis grows an inch and he socks Caleb in the face.
Hannas mom is having trouble with the remote to her house or some shit and asks Hanna to fix it. Not Emily though because shes a fucking tard. She tells Hanna that she offered Caleb the guest bedroom and Hanna flips her shit.
Hanna: YOU DONT LIKE JORDAN YOU LIKE CALEB.
Hannas mom: NO, JORDAN IS FUCKING WEIRD AND HAS A SHIT ACCENT AND YEAH CALEB IS AMAZING AND I WANT TO HAVE HIS BABIES wait what
Emily is that awkward friend who is sitting there when your friend and their parents are arguing and is like oh, I think my mom wanted to tell me about, uh, that thing, I GOTTA GO.
Spencer is fixing Calebs wounds in a park somewhere? Idk I cant get over the plaid suit. She looks like a picnic table consumed a law student or something. Vivian Kensington if she was mauled by a blanket, if you will.
Spencer is like idk who is doing this shit, but we gotta tell Toby. Oh come on, telling that lizard faced narc aint gonna solve shit.
Liam takes Aria to brunch with some mimosas and she tells him about the co-writer gig. He flips out and then tries to cover it up with sweetness, like when you hit a sibling-no, its okay! Dont tell mom! You can hit me! Hit me! Dont tell mom!
Spencer is still in that fugly suit when Mona shows up. Mona is like, your leak ruined my life! And says that she got fired because of Spencers leak. And Spencer is like
Aria and Ezra are doing co-author things with a mix of sexual tension. And its like way too enthusiastic: THIS CHAPTER IS GREAT! WONDERFUL JOB!
Aria asks why Ezra wants Aria to write with him. He wants Aria to bring Nicoles voice back, since she was like kidnapped by terrorists and all. Funny, that sounds a lot like I still wanted to fuck you. Also, Im sure this isnt what Nicole has in mind.
Nicole to Ezra: If I ever get kidnapped in a third world country, please hang out with your ex and have her pretend to be me in the best-selling book you write.
The police chief shows up to Arias house and honestly shes an aggressive lady. Could you just like, chill for sec? The chief says she has an eye witness from the diner who thinks Aria was there the night Charlotte died and she wants Aria to go to a line up. If Law & Order has taught me anything (besides the whole entire fucking law, I basically am the law) its that you just do what the police say, otherwise you look shady AF.
And Criminal Minds taught me that if you follow the cops too much, you also look shady AF. Case and point: youre fucked either way.
Arias like dafuq no, Ive never eaten there. Im on an all carb diet, Karen, God youre so stupid! The chief convinces her to go to a line-up, where she stands by a bunch of other frumpy hoes.
Emily goes to a mechanic shop owned by a bunch of bikers asking about an SUV with whistler things. How did she know to go to this one shop? Is there only one auto shop in town? Really? And seriously these bikers look they just came back from the local Trump rally, thats how hick-looking they are.
I swear to god they see Emily and they all start mentally singing Uptown Girl by Billy Joel. Though they are fascinated that a woman who showers regularly has spoken to them, they are like I CANT HELP YOU.
Aria leaves the police station and is like, hmmm if I go around out back I can see the eye witness. Because its Rosewood, of course thats how things work. The witness is obviously Sara Harvey.
Emily is sneaking around in the mechanics place, because thats a good idea when its run by a bunch of skin heads and Sons of Anarchy dudes who could probs murder you. Okay, it doesnt even take a degree to know that this is stupid.
One of them shows up right as Emily is taking a picture of the car that tried to murder her #tbt. She shows him a picture of Melissa and asks if this is the car owner and hes like thats not her. Thus proving what we already know- TRUST NO BITCH.
Aria goes to ask the police chief is the witness is Sara Harvey and shes like uh I cant answer that, obvi. But then, what luck!, Aria sees a witness statement on the desk. She pretends to spill coffee on it so she can get a better look at the papers while cleaning. The dumbass chief doesnt even notice. Looks like Emily isnt the only dropout in this town.
The statement says that they saw an attractive brunette with pink dice on her keys? Pink dice? Okay, thats something only strippers have. And excuse me, its an ombre not brunette! I mean seriously, get it right. The police chief is like were not very good at our jobs, you can leave now.
They are all at Hannas party, drinking and talking about murderers. Cant we do anything without talking about murderers? This is why we cant have nice things.
They are waiting for Spencer, who is arguing with her dickhole dad at the moment.
Spencers Dad: CALEB DOESNT HAVE THE SAME VALUES AS OUR FAMILY
Everyone whos ever seen this show ever: DIDNT YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE WITH ALIS MOM YOU SHIT FUCK?
Spencer is like and hes like shes being blackmailed! lol ditto. Blackmail so hot right now. The blackmailer said they knew Melissa helped bury Bethany, so Melissa paid them off in hopes that they would stfu. Then poof! Charlotte dies. And thats just how the cookie crumbles.
Spencer goes to the girls and is like Melissa didnt do it and they all are like, lol ohhhhkay Spencer.
Mona rolls through with a gift straight out of Bride Wars or some shit. Its a burn book but for love and weddings, basically. She also included the Wilson Phillips CD because they would listen to it all the time when they got their licenses.
HANNA: Omg Helen is taking me to Paris!!!
MONA: Are you fucking kidding me? Look at the cookie! That stupid fucking cookie!
Hannas mom invites Mona in, and obvi she said yes.
They play 21 questions and none of her friends know the fucking answer, because DUH they are not friends. Suddenly, the universal remote freaks the fuck out and turns off all the lights and plays metal music. Oh, and also lowkey starts a fire. When a fire starts to burn, amiright?
Aria gets second degree burns, which is like whatever. Ive gotten worse burns from my straightener. Shell be fine. Rub some dirt in it.
Toby texts Spencer saying he can meet, so she ditches her burnt friend to meet with her ex.
Flashback to the dorm- they are obvi waiting for a pregnancy test to come back. Weve all been there. Tobys like so uh what do you want to do? Spencer is like and Toby is like
They decide that they arent on the same page future wise, because he wants her to have a baby when she is 19 and she wants to have a life. Hate when that white, male judgmental side comes out and tries to make decisions about your body!!!
Spencer tells Toby that Caleb didnt do it and that A is back. Toby is like oh shit man, I fucked up for getting mad at Caleb. Because like he totally thought Callahan was hitting on her, but he doesnt know what the fuck hes talking about.
Spencer is like I wouldnt judge Yvonne, since we were basically in the same boat. So it came back negative? Okay you guys broke up over that? When that shit comes back negative my boyfriend and I raise a toast.
A texts and is like YOU DIDNT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY SO I THOUGHT I WOULD LIGHT A FIRE UNDER YOUR ASS. Well done A. *Ellie Goulding song Burn plays in the background*
Ezra comes to Arias bedside and says hell wait for Aria and take her home. Aria almost lets it slip that A is back and Ezra is like
Meanwhile, Hannas mom is trying to force her to re-live high school- be friends with Mona! Date Caleb! Fuck it- go back to Rosewood High!
Ezra and Aria are having a moment where he is reading her books and they are staring lovingly into each others eyes. They havent been romantic lately because its obvi hard for Ezra to get it up now that shes of legal age and all.
Of course, Liam comes in. He tells them the book is approved and then kisses Aria. Ezra is like,
Spencer calls Yvonne to apologize and says if you need any help, call me etc. Like Yvonne is going to be like yep sounds good! Yvonne is probably calling A up right now to get details on this whole thing.
Mona and Emily are cleaning from Hannas party and wahhhh, Monas gift got burnt in the fire. Its okay, Hanna probs didnt give a shit anyway. If my best friend showed up with a fucking scrapbook to my bridal shower, I would make her sit in a corner and think about what she fucking did. Seriously? Alcohol, or get the fuck out.
Mona goes to her car and pulls out her keys which of course have two pink dice on them. So weve learned a) Mona was at the diner and b) shes probably an exotic dancer. Emilys like DID YOU DO IT?! and tells her to get in the car, so they can talk this shit out.
We go back to the creepy repair man, cleaning the car A drove and getting like 1000 bucks cash for it. So As loaded, clearly. Also, that’s more money than that dude has seen in his whole life. Dont spend it all in one meth house!
Dont judge me when I say Pinterest is one of the greatest things to happen to my marriage. The love, the companionship, the commitment are great too, but Pinterest is what makes my marriage possible.
I get it. I meet Pinterest haters all the time. When I tell them how much I love the site, they roll their eyes and scoff and put on a snooty public radio voice and say things like, Oh are you also into scrapbooking now?
Im not into scrapbooking, but Im not ruling it out either. Jerks.
Being someones wife didnt come naturally to me. I lived in New York City for 15 years, a place where all my food was delivered, where my laundry was dropped off on a Tuesday and picked up on a Wednesday, and someone came by to clean the apartment twice a month while I worked 80 hour weeks. I never saw the human who made the kitchen gleam, because I was never ever in my kitchen. I didnt know how to take care of myself let alone someone else.
Pinterest is what would happen if you powered Google entirely by actual real, live intelligent people. In other words, women. Pinterest makes me feel like Martha Stewart on a daily basis.
If you dont understand how helpful Pinterest can be to your life, you arent doing it right.
If you dont understand how helpful Pinterest can be to your life, you arent doing it right. Nearly every time I have needed help with something wifely, Pinterest has saved the day. I type my questions into the search bar and no matter how obscure or esoteric, Pinterest has answerswith pictures and diagrams and helpful infographics and videos.
How do I get the duvet on the comforter without climbing inside of it?
The burrito method. Lay the duvet on top of the comforter. Safety pin the corners. Roll it like a burrito. Invert the duvet cover on itself. Roll it back. This changed my life.
What is a lemon zester and what do I do with zest?
Its like a cheese grater and then you use bits of the lemon rind to make lemon olive oil and lemon pesticide that gets rids of ants in the bathroom.
How do I keep Christmas lights from getting tangled when I store them?
Wrap them around a wire hanger and hang them in your closet for next year.
How do I bake the best chicken ever?
Panko crumbs, butter, parmesan cheese and ranch dressing.
What should I do if my towels start to smell funny?
Baking soda and vinegar in the washing machine.
How do I tie my husbands tie?
Cross, behind, over, through.
What do I do with leftover wine besides drink all of it?
Braise short ribs.
How do I get pet fur off all of the furniture?
Use a car squeegee.
Pinterest doesn’t always get it right. There was the time I wanted to make the house not smell like dog but I was too lazy to go to the store to get air freshener. When I searched household and smell and dog and fix. I found a tip to boil a pot of water with vanilla and cinnamon sticks. The smell was supposed to diffuse across the house and neutralize gross dog odors. I had all of these things! But nowhere did it say how fast the water would boil down so I decided to take a shower. I came out of the bathroom to a house filled with smoke, a blaring fire alarm and two firemen at the door. I let them in wearing just my towel and found the pot smoldering on the stove with the cinnamon sticks hardened and curled in on themselves. The firemen looked at me like I wasnt just stupid, but perhaps I was roasting tiny human bones over the fire.
There are some battles I will never win. I watched a video about how to fold a fitted sheet no less than 20 times and it still ended up in a ball of misery in the back of the closet.
‘Whered you learn that?’ he asked in awe. I rolled my eyes as if to say, ‘Im just incredibly handy and brilliant.’
The other day my husband made a wicked mess drilling some screws into our bedroom wall. Stop darling. I ran into the other room and brought a Post-It note, stuck it underneath the drill bit and folded it up into a V-shape so it would catch the dust before it fell on the floor. Whered you learn that? he asked in awe.
I rolled my eyes as if to say, Im just incredibly handy and brilliant.
Pinterest for the win.
It was less than 60 years ago that homemaking was considered a womans highest calling. If housewives knew they would one day have a tool that would show them how to make every single dinner for the rest of the week in just two hours, they would lose their minds. Of course, women in the 1950s didnt need Pinterest. They talked to each other. They shared knowledge. Women these days dont sit around and gab about what we do around the house. Its not PC. We believe when we get together were supposed to talk about high-level things like politics and what happened on the latest episode ofThe Affair. We no longer trade recipes or home cleaning tipseven though we all cook and clean things up, no matter how equal our marriage is. Being on Pinterest feels like sitting down to have a cup of coffee with a bunch of ladies who have all gone through exactly what I am going through right now. No judgment about my smelly towels.
Pinterest lets me easily search for what I want to cook that week, organize it by day and meal and then pull up the recipe when I am shopping in the grocery store. It gave me a list of household chores for the week that stopped me from throwing my hands up in despair and crying, I dont know where to bloody start.
The truth is you have to do weird things once you get married and Im not talking about in the bedroom. You buy placemats and linen napkins and napkin rings to go on those napkins.
When you get married you have to send out holiday cards.
When I was single I hated receiving holiday cards. Maybe I was bitter I had no reason to send out holiday cards, but (no offense to my friends who got married and had babies before I did) I chucked each and every one of them in the trash.
The holiday cards we received were always the very best (fake) version of my friends lives, overly photoshopped shots in soft lighting of them frolicking on a beach wearing all-white outfits like they just left a party at Puff Daddys.
Ill never be that person, I swore.
And then I was.
But I didnt want to be an asshole about it. Thankfully, Pinterest saved the day yet again. Back in late November I searched Christmas cards that dont suck, and found the most amazing thingswhole families dressed as ninjas and Star Wars characters, infographic Christmas cards that were nerdy but awesome. I didnt want to steal anyone elses ninja thunder (I filed it away for later) but what that search showed me was that I could make a Christmas card that felt like we were a family now. And I did. I grabbed a silly picture of the two of us in front of the Eiffel Tower, pouting like ornery French waiters and wearing silly berets and photoshopped in a picture of our dog, Lady Piazza, who is always pouting, also wearing a silly beret.
Pinterest for the win again!
Jo Piazza is an award-winning journalist, editor, digital content strategist and author. Her novel with Lucy Sykes, The Knockoff, became an instant international bestseller in May 2015. She is currently working on a memoir entitled How to Be a Wife. Follow her on Twitter @jopiazza.
Photo via Ethan/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crimeand the forces of the patriarchy. Now theyre back to guide a new generation through the growing pains of childhood and beyond.”>
From Fuller House to the joyous debut of Gilmore Girls on Netflix, millennial nostalgia has become a potent catalyst in the pop culture zeitgeist. Mondays premiere of the new Powerpuff Girls reboot is just the latest boon of this fixation.
The original Powerpuff Girls aired on Cartoon Network between 1998 and 2005. For every millennial who was raised in front of a television set, flipping between Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and MTV, Powerpuff Girls holds a special place in our hearts. Unlike the oversaturated glamour of TRL, or the dubious morality of The Suite Life, Powerpuff Girls had a sugary-pink heart and a girl power message.
The animated series followed the lives of three superheroes, created from a twee cauldron of sugar, spice, everything niceand Chemical X, the secret ingredient that gives them their power. These perfect girls (with a twist!) fought crime in Mary Janes and matching striped pinafores. There was Bubbles, the giggly one, Blossom, the type-A control freak (think Paris Geller as painted by Margaret Keane), and Buttercup, the badass.
While Powerpuff Girls location in Townsville, USA was meant to signify a Main Street mentality, the show contained some overtly coastal politics. Diehard fans of the original may very well remember it as a fabulous queer confectionchock full of single dads, villains in drag, and crash courses in feminism 101.
For everyone who enjoyed the cartoon for its surreal, bold visuals, as well as its baby radicalism, Mondays revamped premiere will be a welcome addition to the Powerpuff canon. The first episode, Princess Buttercup, gives the people what they want by focusing on the coolest PowerpuffButtercup.
Buttercup is feeling alienated from her two, hyper-feminine sisters, who would rather scrapbook than arm wrestle with a piece of construction equipment. Buttercup is a Shane in a land of Carmenssorry for trying to make The Powerpuff Girls gay, but hey, its 2016until she meets a gang of kickass ladies as cool as she is.
Sometimes life gets a bit dull and you need a little extra to spice things up. And that, ladies and gents, is googly eyes. Something we all discovered as kids but forgot about…. until now.
Take yourself down to your nearest craft store and get yourself a few packets, we recommend the self-adhesive version, and add a bit of spice to your life (and household).
Put them on people’s food in the fridge, and on random household items – and give your friends/housemates/family the gift of a bit of a giggle later in the week.
Just in case you don’t fancy leaving the house, here’s a great selection box of googly eyes from amazon. Seriously, do it.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments
Any documentary fan willunderstand that trying to narrow downsuch a versatile genre to a list of the“best”… well it’s very, very difficult.
There are hundreds of films out there with the power to inspire us, and to teach us, and to shock us, and to move us. There are hundreds of controversial, and powerful, and completely fascinating documentaries out there, some that you’ll love and some that you’ll hate.
With this in mind, instead of choosing the “best” we’vecollated a (by no means exhaustive) list of documentaries that you won’t be able to forget:
Charting the life of killer whale Tilikum – from his capture off the coast of Iceland, to his part in the deaths of three people (most sensationally his trainer Dawn Brancheau – SeaWorld’s “poster girl”) –Blackfish is among the most moving, powerful films that you’ll watch.
It shone a light on the immorality of taking orcas from the wild, and put forward the hypothesis that these incredibly intelligent animals develop a “psychosis” as a result of being captive.
Since Blackfish premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2013, SeaWorld has suffered irreparable damage: they reported a$15.9 million loss whileattendance to their parks plummeted, and they’ve since announced plans to phase out all orca breeding.
The Act of Killing
Anwar Congo – the subject of this controversial film on the Indonesian genocide – led a death squad that, between 1965 and 1966,slaughteredcommunists, Chinese people and suspected leftists. He is believed to have killed over one thousand people, personally.
For The Act of Killing, Joshua Oppenheimer asked Anwar (pictured above with his grandchildren)to re-enact these crimes for the camera. Letting him produce scenes in the style of his favourite films – westerns, musicals and gangster flicks – and asking him to portray sometimes the killer, but sometimes the victim, Oppenheimer found a way to confront this man with the reality of what he had done.
Radical, uncomfortable and chilling, this powerful film gave a complex portrayal of a complex man. As one critic put it:
“It is not the demonized, easily digestible caricature of a mass murderer that most disturbs us. It is the human being.”
Life in a Day
For Life in a Day, director Kevin MacDonaldasked people across the globe to submit footage of themselves, taken on the 24th July, 2010. He asked three questions: “What do you love? What do you fear? What’s in your pocket”, and then asked that people simply record whatever they were doing that day.
Kevin received4,500 hours of footage in 80,000 submissions from 192different countries. Along with Ridley Scott, he edited this footage – and this footage alone – down to one feature length film. Life in a Day is consequently a celebration of the mundane, or the life-changing, or the sad, or the extravagant things weall did on the 24th July, 2010.
While a documentary about ordinary people living their lives might not sound thrilling, there’s something inspiring and profound about this life-affirmingfilm.
Dear Zachary: A Letter To A Son About His Father
In 2001, Dr. Andrew Bagby was murdered by his ex-girlfriend, Shirley Turner. Devastated, and determined that he would make “one last film” with the star of his childhood home movies, Andrew’s best friend (film-maker Kurt Kuenne) decided to make a “cinematic scrapbook”, where he would mix footage of Andrew with tributes fromthose who knew him best.
When it transpired that Andrew’s ex-girlfriend – the same woman who killed him – was pregnant with his child, Kurt’s film gained a new dimension. It would allow Andrew’s son (the titular Zachary)to see, and to get to know, his father.
As Kurt was collecting tributes, Andrew’s parents were undergoing a legalbattle, desperate to win custody of their grandson, and see that his mother was tried for the murder of Andrew. Dear Zachary is therefore both a tribute to a murdered man, and a “true crime” examination of what happened after his death.
Bowling for Columbine
In this Academy Award winning documentary, Michael Moore examines the causes of the Columbine High School Massacre, which killed 15 people (including the two perpetrators).
He researches why the violent crime rate (especially crimes involving firearms) is so much higher in the USA than it is in other developed countries, and suggests that US citizens live in a “climate of fear”.
When Bowling for Columbine premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, it received a 13 minute standard ovation. Whatever your view on gun control, this “incendiary”, “provocative” film is a much watch…
The highest grossing British documentary of all time, Amy charts the life and death of Amy Winehouse. Featuring footage of the singer,as well as interviews from her friends and family, it’s a poignantlook at her “glorious rise and heartbreaking fall”.
Directed by Asif Kapadia, Amy has been controversial, predominantly owing to the fact that it has been strongly condemned by Amy’s father – Mitch Winehouse – who didn’t exactly come across well. But, as the people ofRotten Tomatoes agree, it’s a must watch:
“As riveting as it is sad, Amy is a powerfully honest look at the twisted relationship between art and celebrity — and the lethal spiral of addiction.”
Searching for Sugarman
Back in the 1970s, Sixto Rodriguez – aUS born musician, relatively unheard of at home, was making it bigin South Africa. He just had no idea.
While his album went platinum, Rodriguez’ssongs were being used as anti-Apartheid anthems, inspiring other musicians as they compared him toBob Dylan and Cat Stevens.
But, while Rodriguezwas unaware of his legions of South African fans, they believed that he had committed suicide live in concert. Searching for Sugarman is the story of two men who set out to find the truth. Was Rodriguez really dead? And if not, what had happened to him?
Stranger than fiction, this chilling film charts the story of Frdric Bourdin– a French “imposter” whopretended to be a kidnapped Texan boy,Nicholas Barclay.
Despite the fact that he was seven years older than Nicholas, spoke witha French accent and had brown eyes and brown hair (Nicholas had blue eyes and blonde hair),Frdric managed to convince various authorities, as well as multiple members of Nicholas’ family, that he was the missing boy.
The Imposter will unnerve you.
If you have any documentary recommendations, add them to the comments!
Searcy Hayes, the Natchez, Mississippi, woman who looks suspiciously like Ted Cruz but has pretty much no idea who he is, has agreed to do a sex tape.
Hayes is reportedly cashing in on her likeness for a cool $10,000 for just six minutes of screen time.XHamster has reportedly agreed to pay her.
In an interview with the Huffington Post, company spokesperson Mike Kulichstated that he’s really just giving the people what they want. “We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme. I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action,” Kulich said.
The Maury guest first caught the attention of Reddit, who pointed out the resemblance.
Soon after, the MauryFacebook page joined in on the fun. Judging by the way that her resemblance had been framed to that of the presidential hopeful, it’s safe to say that someone was crushing real bad on Hayes. Perhaps, someone with a connection to XHamster.
Hayes’s boyfriend, who is undoubtedly relieved that she passed a lie detector test and that he has indeed been confirmed as the father, is set to star alongside his Cruz doppelgnger partner. The couple plans to spend their sex tape earnings on items for their son as well as big-ticket items like a marriage ceremony and a new truck.
The Daily Dot has reached out to someone familiar with transactions such as these and is awaiting a response. For now, Hayes has the happy ending she was never expecting: trust from the love of her life and incoming funds from making a very quick buck.
Update 1:22pm CT, April 24: Noted media broker Kevin Blatt was skeptical about XHamster’s announcement. He had this to say about the alleged sex tape offer:
I would highly encourage the woman to accept the offer only because no one ever does. You’d see real quick they don’t have the money to pay, nor would they know what to do. This type of offer only works with SEO and searches for mainstream celebrities, not unheard of lookalikes.
Screengrab via shaag/YouTube (CC-BY)